How to be a Good Listener

Introduction

    Communication is a two-way process because there needs to be someone in the ‘receiving’, listening role as well as someone in the ‘expressing’, speaking role. Both parts are equally important. If there is a problem with one half of the process, then there is likely to be a breakdown in communication.

Communicating with someone who uses AAC

    Some people who are unable to speak use augmentative and alternative communication (AAC). AAC can allow the person to say what they want, when they want to. But talking with someone who uses AAC is different for the listener than talking with someone who is able to speak naturally.
    The person using AAC is likely to be ‘speaking’ much more slowly than someone who is able to speak naturally. They may use a synthesised voice which might take the listener some time to tune-in to. Or they might not be 'speaking' in the traditional sense at all; for example, the listener might have to read what the person is pointing to on a chart or an electronic screen.

    As communication is a two-way process, both people are responsible for making the conversation successful, but it is much more difficult if one of the people is communicating in ways which are unusual.

    This page gives you some hints on how to become a better listener. Some of these hints are useful in any conversation, not just with someone using AAC. Becoming a better listener is what it is all about, and that is a skill we can all do with practising!

Appearances can be deceiving

  • We can all be slightly anxious when we meet someone who is a bit different. Sometimes these anxieties can become barriers because we don’t see the person, just their differences such as their wheelchair or communication aid. Try not to let these anxieties hinder communication if you are talking with someone who uses AAC. Try to relax and enjoy your conversation!
     
  • Do not assume that just because a person is using an AAC system they will not be able to say very much – you might be in for a surprise!

Take your time

  • Using an AAC system to speak takes longer than being able to speak naturally. Difficult as it can be, we just need to wait for the person using AAC to finish speaking.
     
  • Do not feel that you have to fill every gap in the conversation by saying something. It may be that the person using AAC is preparing the next thing they want to say to you.

Communication is more than just words:
Use your eyes as well as your ears!

  • Communication is easier when you have eye contact with the person you are talking to.
     
  • Do not just listen to the person using AAC; look out for all their other methods of communication such as facial expressions, vocalisations and gestures. These will often give you a clue to what the person is meaning if their message is a bit unclear.

Taking turns

  • Because it is usually slower for the person using AAC to speak and because their ‘speech’ will be different to natural speech, it can be difficult for them to interrupt a conversation. You need to use your eyes as well as your ears, and look out for signs that the person using AAC has something they want to say.
     
  • Don’t assume you know what someone using AAC wants to say. Try to wait and let the person start up the topic of conversation, allowing them to share the control of the conversation so that they are not always just responding to you.

How you ask a question can be important

  • When you are asking questions, try not to ask more than one question at a time – give the person using AAC time to respond before you ask the next question.
     
  • Try to ask open questions like “What did you do last night?”, rather than closed questions to which the person can only say “yes” or “no”, for example, “Did you watch TV last night?”

Guessing - not everything is at it seems!

  • Some people who use AAC communicate using keywords only, not full sentences. You might have to interpret or guess at the full meaning of what the person is saying. Always check that you have interpreted or guessed correctly.
     
  • Sometimes it can be very tempting to guess what the person using AAC is about to say and to finish off their sentences for them. Some people are happy for you to do this, others hate it! You need to ask the person using the AAC system if you can guess what they are saying. If they say “no”, then you’ll just have to wait! If you do try to guess, you must check with the person that what you think they were about to say is actually right.

When you just can't understand what the other person is saying

  • Do not pretend to have understood if you haven’t. Let the person using AAC know how much you have understood. Say to the person that you have not understood everything and ask them to repeat what they have just said or to say it again using different words. Ask them to show you what they mean, either by miming or using a gesture to show you, or to take you to the thing they are meaning – if this is realistic! If the person can spell, it can sometimes be helpful if they spell out the word you are not able to understand. Sometimes someone else will be able to understand – ask the person using AAC if there is someone else who could interpret.
     
  • Sometimes the problem is caused by background noise! If you are having difficulty understanding what the person using AAC is saying, it can help to move to a quieter spot or to reduce the volume of the sound on the TV or hi-fi.
     

Useful Resources

  • Attitudes and Strategies Towards AAC: A Training Package for AAC Users and Carers
    This training package was produced by Joan Murphy and Janet Scott (1995).
    Published by Psychology Dept, University of Stirling, Stirling FK9 4LA
    Website: www.aacscotland.com
     
  • In Other Words
    This video is an excellent introduction to the field of AAC, especially for parents, students, and professionals new to AAC.
    Published by ISAAC. Available from The ACE Centre, 92 Windmill Road, Oxford OX3 7DR Tel: 01865 759800  Website: www.ace-centre.org.uk
     
  • Talking to People with Severe Communication Difficulties: An Introductory Training Video
    This introductory video was produced by Joan Murphy and Janet Scott.
    Published by Psychology Dept, University of Stirling, Stirling FK9 4LA
    Website: www.aacscotland.com
     

Further Information